Celtic Gaming: Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3

26 May

Hello Celtic Gamers! I apologize for there being no Thursday update, but I had a tooth extracted the day before, so that kinda left me down in the mouth…okay, no more tooth or mouth related puns, I promise. Anyway, this week, Im gonna stay away from my usual type of games, and take a look at an RTS – more importantly, an RTS that goes by the name of Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 on the 360.

Now before anyone starts, yes the majority of the games I look at are for the 360 – this is mainly due that this is my main gaming console. C&C is one of the big RTS brands – alongside Empire Earth, Total War, Age of Empires and so on. C&C has a couple of series – Tiberium Wars, set in the future, and Red Alert, set during an alternate WW2. I have no real preference – although Tiberium Wars does edge it if only for having kick-ass weapons and units. Now a Console RTS is always up against problems with controls. A mouse and keyboard is a natural teammate to an RTS, so there were a few times I missed it. The controls are fiddly, but when you get a hold on them, they are good – not perfect, but they don’t make the game harder.

The camera…is a fucker. You can’t zoom out far enough to get enough of you troops on screen, and you’re limited to fifty units. This does take away some of the awesome, because it’s a balanced fun game. There are three campaigns, each lasting nine missions each, all working different “What If?” scenarios. There are the Allies, the Soviets and new to the series, the Empire of the Rising Sun ((Or the Japanese to you and me)). Well, it’s been several years since Red Alert 2, and I’m afraid to say that’s the biggest change they’ve made to the game.

They offer a tutorial system, but they over-explain everything, and I mean everything. The try humour, but it rarely gets a laugh, and the only good moments are when they shoot each other, because I can’t help but think that “Thank the force someone has the common sense to kill them,” – I mean, I know tutorials are supposed to prepare you for the game, but I got half way through the second of six before saying “Screw this” and just jumped into the campaigns. Ironically, there’s an achievement for sitting through all six, but it’s so not worth it.

The premise of the game is simple – kill all of your opponents, before they kill you. No-one can mess this up, not even EA, and surprisingly, they didn’t. All of the teams play differently, from how their buildings are built ((The Soviets are plopped down first, then built up – The Allies build up, then plop down and the Empire…well, I’m not sure what they do…I don’t know what to call it…Origami buildings, I think…)), their troops, commandos ((Tanya for the Allies makes a return, Natasha for the Soviets, and a psychic Schoolgirl for the Japanese…no, I am not joking))

The main thing I like about this game are the cut scenes – they are filmed like a movie, and the actors are putting some effort into it, although one of the Soviets commanders is putting on the accent a bit too much…Other than that, I have no real problems…except one. Where the hell are the women’s uniforms? The men, yeah, they’re dressed alright, but all the women in the game are either showing too much cleavage, too much leg, loo tight clothes, or a mix or all of the above! There’s one place I do not wanna see Fanservice, and that’s in my C&C games!

The graphics are nice, but considering how much there actually is in the game, the unit models could be a little better detailed. The storylines are entertaining, the skirmishes are good for mindless fun and it really draws you in – just the other day, I stopped only to pee and found my entire afternoon had completely vanished! There is no such thing as “Just one more round” with this game – just play until you need to pee, and realise “Crap, I need to feed the dog” I recommend getting the game, but go for the PC, rather than the 360.


1 Comment

Posted by on May 26, 2009 in Gaming


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One response to “Celtic Gaming: Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3

  1. rappysaur

    May 27, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Excellent work as usual, coblogger.


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