Rappy Reads Like Lambs to the Slaughter: Chapter 2-Those Darn Occult Humanists

11 Dec

This is a fairly short and repetitive chapter, but it has enough of the eye-burningly stupid to have its own post. Welcome to chapter 2 of Like Lambs to the Slaughter, provocatively entitled “The Humanist Conspiracy”. Yes, because that darn Gay Occult Humanist Agenda’s everywhere planning to perform evil baby-eating ceremonies on your children! Or not, but Michaelsen certainly believes there is:

“Humanists have worked long and hard for over 150 years to insure their domination of the public school system. They see their philosophies as the salvation of the world – the solution to all our social ills.”

Like Lambs to the Slaughter; Chapter 2., pg. 17

150 years? But I thought America has been a Christian nation since the dawn of time! *Faux shock*

Interestingly enough, if we go to to the exact date of “150 years ago” for the time of this book’s publishing, we’re in 1839. What events do we have that year? Hmmm. A fair amount of educational facilities open, including the first west of the Mississippi. Women get to own property by law for the first time in the United States. The Faraday papers on the nature of electricity are published. Cell theory is developed. Charles Darwin put out his narrative of the Beagle voyage.

…Yeah, I’m noticing a pattern. Interesting how a year that is such a watershed for science and equality is the one Michaelsen points at accusingly as the beginnings of the “humanist conspiracy”.

“For decades now the Humanists have used the classrooms of this country as their personal pulpits and seminaries for the propagation of their atheistic, socialistic beliefs. In the 1960’s especially there was an influx of humanistic programs presented as ‘alternatives’ to the ‘oppressive’ educational system of the day (i.e., reading, writing, and arithmetic are such a bore!).”

Like Lambs to the Slaughter; Chapter 2., pg. 17

Wow. Atheism, socialism, and scare quotes? We have Religious Jingo BINGO!

Also, yeah, humanists totally hate reading, writing, and arithmetic. That’s why they try to spread education so far, to quell it! …Wait, what?

Oh, but the religious jingoism gets worse (all of the following from pg. 18)!

“As a result, many of our children now know all about how corpses are embalmed, and many have written their own obituaries or suicide notes as class assignments.”

What? When?

“They have pooled their collective ignorance on ‘relevant’ subjects ranging from nuclear war to homosexuality, euthanasia to birth control – all in the name of ‘clarifying’ their values and morals.”

‘Conform! Conform! After all, the next generation are just stupid kids. What would they know about marriage equality, birth control, and the dangerous of nuclear disasters?’

And the humanists are supposed to be the ones harming our youth…

“They’ve learned all about sexuality and pornography in their sex ed. classes.”

Gasp! Our children know what reproductive functions are! It’s the apocalypse!

“They know all about the occult and Witches, werewolves, astrology, Ouija boards, the Great Spirit, and the Mother Goddess.”

Because…humanism is occultist? Yeah, I’m sure Richard Dawkins walks around with a few Ouija boards in his backpack, just in case he might get a strange vibe from the ghost of Charles Darwin on how to fulfill the “conspiracy”.

“They know that to mention the Bible, God, and especially Jesus of Nazareth on a public school campus is to risk being sued by the ACLU.”

Because the ACLU totally never supports Christians (hint: they actually do).

And that’s the chapter! Okay, yes, there are a few more pages, but they’re basically repeating the same points, just slotting in different buzzwords such as “Naziism”, “Soviet Union”, and “Red China”. Since this was back when the Soviet Union existed, and we were at odds with Eastasia China, it’s not surprising to see those words used to invoke the boogeyman of a “humanist conspiracy” taking over the schools from Good Traditional Values Teachers™.



Next time, we start chapter 3, “Your Teacher the Occultist?”, wherein more anti-education blather is vomited forth.

1 Comment

Posted by on December 11, 2011 in Uncategorized


One response to “Rappy Reads Like Lambs to the Slaughter: Chapter 2-Those Darn Occult Humanists

  1. Firedrake

    December 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    It’s the usual viewing of the world through one’s own lens: we are an organisation that acts to push its specific and restrictive set of beliefs, therefore our enemies must also be an organisation that acts in such a way. The idea that someone might not have a specific and restrictive set of beliefs, and might even be getting on nicely without them, is unthinkable.


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